The Patient Process of Perfection

I want to share some excerpts from Cecil Samuelson's BYU Devotional message given last Tuesday, in which he clarified some misunderstandings regarding perfection. His words reminded me that perfection is meant to be a process rather than an immediate expectation. And that my patience and persistence with the process will make it more bearable and even enjoyable rather than discouraging. Here are some of his words:

"One area of confusion not rare among us is the notion that worthiness is synonymous with perfection. One can be fully worthy in a gospel sense and yet still be growing while dealing with personal imperfections. ... [Perfectionism] is corrosive and destructive and is the antithesis of the healthy quest for eventual perfection that the Savior prescribes."

"The uneasiness of which I speak is largely rooted in misunderstandings some have about timing and also about definitions. With respect to timing, we can confuse our current or proximal circumstances with distant or eternal expectations. With definitions ... some mistakenly consider worthiness to be the same as perfection. This is not true.

"It is necessary to be properly grounded in understanding and in doctrine to build the proper bridge from where we are to eternal life.

Drawing from Matthew 5:48 where the Savior says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect," President Samuelson said, "The Lord gives no commandment that is not possible for us to keep or achieve. Likewise, much of what the Lord requires us to do is focused on our interactions with others. Frequently Heaven's expectations involve the support of families, friends, teachers, Church and priesthood leaders as well as the efforts we make in behalf of others."

He spoke of the importance of understanding which options and events are under an individual's control and which are not. Sometimes people have the tendency to blame others for their own deficiencies when in reality they should take responsibility. Other times, individuals blame themselves for things when circumstances were not completely under their control.

"This is not only unproductive, but can be debilitating," he said. "Let us be clear: No one is perfect in everything and likely will not be any time soon."

That is why the Savior's Atonement is crucial in the perfection process.

In 1831, the Lord told the early members of the Church to “continue in patience until ye are perfected.”

“At least two things seem clear in this instruction,” President Samuelson said. “First, we are not perfect now. Second, we can become perfected if we are patient and take advantage of the requisite ways of thinking and behaving. Thoughtful patience is part of the perfection process. Like these early saints, we may be confused and make the mistake of misplacing an eventual essential eternal goal with the expectation of total perfection in the immediate now.”

"We do not and cannot become perfect in everything by ourselves. We achieve eventual perfection because, not in spite, of His grace. In a real sense, we are called to be partners with Him in the perfection process. He knows what we do not know and has the strength we do not have. He asks that we do our part, but He does ask that we really do our part."

As individuals try to do their very best — understanding that they have both strengths and weaknesses — and accept the Savior's help and follow His commandments, they are able to do their part.

"Most suffering from the syndrome of perfection do not have nearly as much trouble loving God and others as they do themselves, President Samuelson said. "Almost all of us can accept without reservation that we must love God without restrictions or qualifications while sometimes forgetting the essential components of the companion verse. Yes, we must love our neighbor, but just as certainly, we need to learn to love ourselves."

Not to be confused with sin or slothful behavior, President Samuelson said that loving oneself includes not being unreasonable or too hard on oneself when one makes a mistake or acts imperfectly.

"When you have challenges about your abilities to measure up — and we all do from time to time — recognize that your teachers, advisers, bishops and other Church leaders and the excellent professionals in our counseling center are all willing to assist you as you do your part in accepting the grace of Christ and being patient in your progress.

"Please remember that worthiness is vital but is not the same as perfection ... not everything, especially perfection, can be achieved quickly or at once."