AAMT: Lesson 2 - SOURCES OF EMOTION, part 1
The reading assignment for this lesson is the chapter entitled "Thought and Purpose" in As a Man Thinketh. The following is from the course manual:
In Lesson 1, I mentioned that our emotions are not the result of what others say or do, nor are they caused by the situations or events that occur around us. Rather, they are the direct product of the kind of thinking we do. I frequently hear people I counsel say, "but if he/she had not done that, I would have no reason to feel that way." It is generally rather evident that the people who make these statements are very sincere in their beliefs. They sincerely believe that there is a cause-and-effect relationship between the strong negative feeling they experience and the situation or event which seemed to precipitate it. The serious mistake they make is that they assume they have no other choice -- they must feel the way they do because of what has occurred.
At a basketball game I recently attended, in the midst of some very vigorous activity between two opposing players who were trying to get control of the ball, the referee blew his whistle, indicating that he believed that a foul had been committed. It was not immediately evident to the spectators of either side which player was guilty. Neither did it seem obvious to either player, as each watched and waited for the other to raise his hand. The referee signaled to the scorekeeper's bench that the foul had been committed by number 37 of the white team. Suddenly there was a great roar of boos and jeers from one side of the gymnasium and an equally great cheer of pleasure from the other side.
I thought to myself how interesting is is that one single announcement could elicit such differing responses from the two different sides of the floor. One side seemed genuinely pleased by the announcement, and the other side appeared to be just as genuinely displeased. If the announcement really had caused the reaction, why had it not caused the same reaction on both sides of the floor? The answer is obvious. It was not the announcement that caused the particular reaction. Rather the reaction was precipitated by what the fans thought about the announcement -- their evaluative thinking.
A young married couple I once counseled related to me an incident which illustrates the effects of evaluative thinking on one's emotional reaction to a given situation. The wife had been wanting to see a particular movie that had been in town for several weeks but was about to close. her husband had not wanted to see the movie, but had reluctantly conceded to pacify her. She had made arrangements for a babysitter and even picked up the tickets to ensure that they had seating.
The day had been a particularly hard one for the young husband. Nothing, so it seemed, had gone right for him, and he dragged himself home in what he called "a state of near total exhaustion." Going to the movie that night was one of the very last things he wanted to do. He was a man of his word, however, so he showered and dressed to prepare to take his wife to the movie.
The babysitter arrived late, but only after phone all to remind her of her agreement to sit with the children that night. When she arrived, it was already nearly time for the movie to start. This would be the last showing. The movie could not be put off until tomorrow.
The couple hastily left the house and headed for the car and the movie. They would just make it. Well, they would have been able to just make it if they had not run out of gas about a mile from the house, two miles from the nearest service station, and almost four and a half miles from the movie theater. Yes, now she remembered the other thing she was supposed to do while she was out getting tickets -- get gas!
The young wife was disappointed and at the point of tears. Her husband, on the other hand, was actually quite pleased (secretly) by this turn of events. His pleased emotional response would seem strange indeed if one assumes that running out of gas had caused it. Just the previous week he had become very upset when his wife hadn't filled the gas tank, and he had run out of gas halfway up the canyon on the way to his favorite fishing hole!
From these two examples, we can recognize a very common misconception: "I had to feel that way because of what happened." That belief is far from the truth. Each of us chooses to produce our every emotion by the kind of evaluative thinking we do. Evaluative thinking is sometimes referred to as "internalized verbalization" or "self-talk." It is the cognitive or thinking activity that goes on inside the part of the brain known as the neocortex.
A related misconception is that when a particular situation or event occurs, one has no choice which particular emotion he or she will experience. I recently counseled with a young man who had been discharged from the army after several transfers because he had violent fits of rage and hit officers or other enlisted men when they did or said things he did not like. He was very sincere in his belief that his behavior was appropriate. Whenever I asked him why he had hit them, he would look at me quizzically and ask,"What else could I do when they said something like that?"
This young man's misconception is not unusual. He assumed that his so-called "loss of control" was caused by another man. In such situations, there is no such thing as "loss of control." His attitudes and current thinking led him to exercise negative, irrational control, but control nevertheless. James Allen reflects upon this insight in his book, As A Man Thinketh.
"Man is always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state; but in his weakness and degradation he is the foolish master who misgoverns his "household." When he begins to reflect upon his condition, and to search diligently for the Law upon which his being is established, he then becomes the wise master, directing is energies with intelligence, and fashioning his thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought; which discover is totally a matter of application, self analysis, and experience."
The notion that one "loses control" conjures up amusing images in one's mind. You see your friend frantically scratching through the grass on the front lawn. You ask, "What are you doing?" "I lost my control, and I'm looking for it," is the reply. Meanwhile, in the house, the family is digging furiously through the drawers and under the bed to help him find it!
Still another interesting misconception is epitomized by the statement "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Actually, this statement is a very clever way to try to avoid responsibility for what occurs. In lesson 3 you will learn that the production of emotions is very lawful and is directed by the mind. When thus viewed, it becomes evident that the spirit and the flesh are inseparably connected. The flesh generally only does just what it is directed to do.
There is a tendency to believe that not only do given situations and circumstances elicit specific emotions, but that once elicited, there is little or nothing one can about them except allow them to gradually fade with the passage of time. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Emotions are caused in split seconds by thinking, attitudes, and beliefs, and can be changed just as rapidly. I include attitudes and beliefs with thinking because they are mostly composed of evaluative thinking that has been processed, stored, and accumulated over a period of time. Attitudes and beliefs can be added to or modified at any point in time as the result of new, different, or additional evaluative thinking. When activated or used in a particular situation, they may have much the same effect as if they were thoughts which had just occurred.
Maybe the most effective way to help you realize and understand just how rapidly you can produce an emotion and then change it would be sharing a couple of favorite analogies. Imagine, if you will, that as you sit reading this lesson, you hear a peculiar noise down on the floor by your right foot. You look down and there, coiled up by your foot as if ready to strike, is a snake. What kind of emotion are you likely to experience, and how long would it take you to start feeling the emotion? Most would agree that the emotion is likely to be fear and that it will "happen" very rapidly. If I were to ask you what caused your fear, you would likely say (before this course, of course) the snake caused it. Well, that really is not true, and I can prove it to you. I reach down and pick up the snake, place it in my hand, and wind its spring up again. Now what kind of emotions re you likely to experience? You may be angry at me for playing such a prank on you, or you may be pleasantly amused, but you are not likely to be frightened. If asked why you are no longer frightened, you would say, "because it is only a toy." Yes, I can see that, but it was "only a toy" when it was by your foot on the floor. It was always a toy, even while you were frightened.
This analogy clearly illustrates two vital points. First, it is not facts or events that cause our emotions, but the view we take (thinking) of them. Second, emotions can be created instantaneously, and changed just as rapidly. Perhaps I could make even a thrid point: the intensity of the emotion does not necessarily have a significant influence upon the length of time required to change it. The argument I frequently hear as I share the snake analogy is "but I didn't have time to do any thinking to cause the fear. It all happened immediately." While it may seem as if it happened immediately and without thought, that is not true. You will remember that I stated earlier that attitudes are composed of evaluative thinking that has been stored away. Each of us has an attitude toward snakes, depending on the kinds of experiences we have had with them in real life, in stories, or in movies. That attitude is always subjet to rapid recall when the appropriate cues or stimuli are present. That is why, when you look down and see a snake, you are almost immediately gripped with fear.
To be continued...
In Lesson 1, I mentioned that our emotions are not the result of what others say or do, nor are they caused by the situations or events that occur around us. Rather, they are the direct product of the kind of thinking we do. I frequently hear people I counsel say, "but if he/she had not done that, I would have no reason to feel that way." It is generally rather evident that the people who make these statements are very sincere in their beliefs. They sincerely believe that there is a cause-and-effect relationship between the strong negative feeling they experience and the situation or event which seemed to precipitate it. The serious mistake they make is that they assume they have no other choice -- they must feel the way they do because of what has occurred.
At a basketball game I recently attended, in the midst of some very vigorous activity between two opposing players who were trying to get control of the ball, the referee blew his whistle, indicating that he believed that a foul had been committed. It was not immediately evident to the spectators of either side which player was guilty. Neither did it seem obvious to either player, as each watched and waited for the other to raise his hand. The referee signaled to the scorekeeper's bench that the foul had been committed by number 37 of the white team. Suddenly there was a great roar of boos and jeers from one side of the gymnasium and an equally great cheer of pleasure from the other side.
I thought to myself how interesting is is that one single announcement could elicit such differing responses from the two different sides of the floor. One side seemed genuinely pleased by the announcement, and the other side appeared to be just as genuinely displeased. If the announcement really had caused the reaction, why had it not caused the same reaction on both sides of the floor? The answer is obvious. It was not the announcement that caused the particular reaction. Rather the reaction was precipitated by what the fans thought about the announcement -- their evaluative thinking.
A young married couple I once counseled related to me an incident which illustrates the effects of evaluative thinking on one's emotional reaction to a given situation. The wife had been wanting to see a particular movie that had been in town for several weeks but was about to close. her husband had not wanted to see the movie, but had reluctantly conceded to pacify her. She had made arrangements for a babysitter and even picked up the tickets to ensure that they had seating.
The day had been a particularly hard one for the young husband. Nothing, so it seemed, had gone right for him, and he dragged himself home in what he called "a state of near total exhaustion." Going to the movie that night was one of the very last things he wanted to do. He was a man of his word, however, so he showered and dressed to prepare to take his wife to the movie.
The babysitter arrived late, but only after phone all to remind her of her agreement to sit with the children that night. When she arrived, it was already nearly time for the movie to start. This would be the last showing. The movie could not be put off until tomorrow.
The couple hastily left the house and headed for the car and the movie. They would just make it. Well, they would have been able to just make it if they had not run out of gas about a mile from the house, two miles from the nearest service station, and almost four and a half miles from the movie theater. Yes, now she remembered the other thing she was supposed to do while she was out getting tickets -- get gas!
The young wife was disappointed and at the point of tears. Her husband, on the other hand, was actually quite pleased (secretly) by this turn of events. His pleased emotional response would seem strange indeed if one assumes that running out of gas had caused it. Just the previous week he had become very upset when his wife hadn't filled the gas tank, and he had run out of gas halfway up the canyon on the way to his favorite fishing hole!
From these two examples, we can recognize a very common misconception: "I had to feel that way because of what happened." That belief is far from the truth. Each of us chooses to produce our every emotion by the kind of evaluative thinking we do. Evaluative thinking is sometimes referred to as "internalized verbalization" or "self-talk." It is the cognitive or thinking activity that goes on inside the part of the brain known as the neocortex.
A related misconception is that when a particular situation or event occurs, one has no choice which particular emotion he or she will experience. I recently counseled with a young man who had been discharged from the army after several transfers because he had violent fits of rage and hit officers or other enlisted men when they did or said things he did not like. He was very sincere in his belief that his behavior was appropriate. Whenever I asked him why he had hit them, he would look at me quizzically and ask,"What else could I do when they said something like that?"
This young man's misconception is not unusual. He assumed that his so-called "loss of control" was caused by another man. In such situations, there is no such thing as "loss of control." His attitudes and current thinking led him to exercise negative, irrational control, but control nevertheless. James Allen reflects upon this insight in his book, As A Man Thinketh.
"Man is always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state; but in his weakness and degradation he is the foolish master who misgoverns his "household." When he begins to reflect upon his condition, and to search diligently for the Law upon which his being is established, he then becomes the wise master, directing is energies with intelligence, and fashioning his thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought; which discover is totally a matter of application, self analysis, and experience."
The notion that one "loses control" conjures up amusing images in one's mind. You see your friend frantically scratching through the grass on the front lawn. You ask, "What are you doing?" "I lost my control, and I'm looking for it," is the reply. Meanwhile, in the house, the family is digging furiously through the drawers and under the bed to help him find it!
Still another interesting misconception is epitomized by the statement "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Actually, this statement is a very clever way to try to avoid responsibility for what occurs. In lesson 3 you will learn that the production of emotions is very lawful and is directed by the mind. When thus viewed, it becomes evident that the spirit and the flesh are inseparably connected. The flesh generally only does just what it is directed to do.
There is a tendency to believe that not only do given situations and circumstances elicit specific emotions, but that once elicited, there is little or nothing one can about them except allow them to gradually fade with the passage of time. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Emotions are caused in split seconds by thinking, attitudes, and beliefs, and can be changed just as rapidly. I include attitudes and beliefs with thinking because they are mostly composed of evaluative thinking that has been processed, stored, and accumulated over a period of time. Attitudes and beliefs can be added to or modified at any point in time as the result of new, different, or additional evaluative thinking. When activated or used in a particular situation, they may have much the same effect as if they were thoughts which had just occurred.
Maybe the most effective way to help you realize and understand just how rapidly you can produce an emotion and then change it would be sharing a couple of favorite analogies. Imagine, if you will, that as you sit reading this lesson, you hear a peculiar noise down on the floor by your right foot. You look down and there, coiled up by your foot as if ready to strike, is a snake. What kind of emotion are you likely to experience, and how long would it take you to start feeling the emotion? Most would agree that the emotion is likely to be fear and that it will "happen" very rapidly. If I were to ask you what caused your fear, you would likely say (before this course, of course) the snake caused it. Well, that really is not true, and I can prove it to you. I reach down and pick up the snake, place it in my hand, and wind its spring up again. Now what kind of emotions re you likely to experience? You may be angry at me for playing such a prank on you, or you may be pleasantly amused, but you are not likely to be frightened. If asked why you are no longer frightened, you would say, "because it is only a toy." Yes, I can see that, but it was "only a toy" when it was by your foot on the floor. It was always a toy, even while you were frightened.
This analogy clearly illustrates two vital points. First, it is not facts or events that cause our emotions, but the view we take (thinking) of them. Second, emotions can be created instantaneously, and changed just as rapidly. Perhaps I could make even a thrid point: the intensity of the emotion does not necessarily have a significant influence upon the length of time required to change it. The argument I frequently hear as I share the snake analogy is "but I didn't have time to do any thinking to cause the fear. It all happened immediately." While it may seem as if it happened immediately and without thought, that is not true. You will remember that I stated earlier that attitudes are composed of evaluative thinking that has been stored away. Each of us has an attitude toward snakes, depending on the kinds of experiences we have had with them in real life, in stories, or in movies. That attitude is always subjet to rapid recall when the appropriate cues or stimuli are present. That is why, when you look down and see a snake, you are almost immediately gripped with fear.
To be continued...
posted by Linda @ 2:47 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I finally got enough time to read this. I'm enjoying the thought that reading this provokes. (no pun intended.) thanks again for taking the time to do this mom. The reading chapter (thought and purpose) was my favorite so far.
Thanks for the positive feedback. That makes it more than worth all the typing. :)
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