To Be or Not to Be too Busy to BE

I’ve been doing some thinking about one of the goals that I’ve set for the past several years. That goal is to live in the moment, or as Pres. Monson said in General Conference, to “enjoy the journey.” I really struggle with this. I have a perpetual list of things I need to do. My list is endless – even as I cross one thing off, I am usually adding one or two more. Often I feel overwhelmed by my list. And to add to my frustration, lately I’ve noticed that I’m not as good at multitasking as I used to be. I asked the gynecologist if menopause might be the cause of it, but he insisted that it is merely a result of overloading myself, and suggested I stop doing that.

As I was thinking about how to change myself, I came across an article in the June Readers Digest by Carolyn Y. Johnson of The Boston Globe that echoes what Pres. Monson and my doctor said. It’s about the benefits of boredom (or so-called ‘unproductive time’):

"Increasingly,… empty moments are being saturated with productivity, communication, and the digital distractions offered by an ever-expanding array of slick mobile devices … But are we too busy twirling through the songs on our iPods-while checking e-mail, while changing lanes on the highway-to consider whether we are giving up a good thing?

We are most human when we feel dull. Lolling around in a state of restlessness is one of life's greatest luxuries-one not available to creatures that spend all their time pursuing mere survival.

To be bored is to stop reacting to the external world, and to explore the internal one. It is in these times of reflection that people often discover something new, whether it is an epiphany about a relationship or a new theory about the way the universe works. Granted, many people emerge from boredom feeling that they have accomplished nothing. But is accomplishment really the point of life?”

Those thoughts reminded me of Julie Beck’s comments in General Conference last October:

“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.”

And then, in my morning scripture study, I read Alma 9:28:

“Therefore, prepare ye the way of the Lord, for the time is at hand that all men shall reap a reward of their works, according to that which they have been—if they have been righteous they shall reap the salvation of their souls, according to the power and deliverance of Jesus Christ; and if they have been evil they shall reap the damnation of their souls, according to the power and captivation of the devil.”

When I’ve read this verse before the bold “they” referred to “works” but this time “they” meant “all men” (and women). This new interpretation had an enormous impact on me. If I am going to be judged by what I have “been” rather than what I have “done” then I can quit making endless lists of things that need to be done. Instead, I can spend time focusing on who I want to be and then developing those qualities, one of which is to be a person who enjoys the journeys of life.

As a result of a lot of reading and pondering and praying, the Holy Ghost has been teaching me and these new insights are helping me change. I’m removing a lot of items from my “To Do” list. I'm discovering that many items on my list aren't actually my stewardship. I have a habit of worrying about and feeling responsible for many many things. Eliminating them completely not only shortens my list and simplifies my life, it allows me to do some of the items on my list that are valuable to me.

This rather lengthy post is the result of these changes – taking time to think about what I'm learning and making some changes. Maybe it makes up for all the days I haven’t written anything?