OF COURSE I HAVE A FAVORITE CHILD... 5 OF THEM

I read an article by Joe Walker in the newspaper last Friday.  His words echo my feelings about not only the 5 children I gave birth to, but the 5  that they allowed me to be the mother-in-law to and the 18 grandhildren that those unions have created.  Here's the last 2 paragraphs:

"You see, it isn't that I don't have a favorite child. I have FIVE favorites. And I think that's an important distinction. I don't love my children equally — I love each one of them individually as intensely as I am capable of loving them. I have no idea how to parcel out equal portions of love to these remarkable people who have such a hold on my heart. I only know how to love them — individually and collectively — with all my heart and everything that I am. As if each one is my favorite.

"Because each one is."

"To Tell the Truth"

This is from last week's Music & the Spoken Word.  It's unlike their typical broadcasts; perhaps that is why it intrigued me.  What do you think of it?

All of us need someone who cares enough to tell us the truth. Even when the truth is not what we want to hear, it can help us learn and grow and become better.

Years ago, a college student, brash and full of himself, worked as a teaching assistant for a legendary professor. One day the beloved professor invited his teaching assistant for a walk, put his arm around his shoulders, and said, “Randy, it's such a shame that people perceive you as being so arrogant, because it's going to limit what you're . . . able to accomplish in life.”

“Looking back,” Randy recalled, "his wording was perfect." This professor clearly wasn't the only one who noticed his student's character flaws, but somehow he was able to point them out in a way that no one else could-a way that inspired Randy to change.

Randy later observed: “There is an old expression, ‘a Dutch uncle,’ which refers to a person who gives you honest feedback. Few people bother doing that nowadays, so the expression has started to feel outdated, even obscure.”¹

You don't have to be an uncle-or a professor-to be this kind of friend, one who is both candid and caring, who is willing to say the right thing at the right time in the right way. The key is to share such constructive feedback from a foundation of genuine love and concern. Any other motive can evoke anger, defensiveness, and resistance to change.

But if our motives are good and our hearts are sincere, if we determine with great care and sensitivity what to say and how to say it, then we can inspire each other to overcome our weaknesses and become the people we were truly meant to be.

1. Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture (2008), 67-68.

Choose to obey

What a great story to teach the value of following the prophet and obeying promptly.

Church News, Saturday, Sept. 1, 2012

Two years after the first convert baptisms in Sierra Leone in June 1988, members began meeting in their homes in the country's second-largest city. In August of 1990, a branch was organized in Bo. Soon, three congregations were meeting in rented buildings in the city. Uniformly, members shared a great enthusiasm for the growth of the Church in their country.

Five months later, in January 1991, the mission president in the city received a letter from Church President Ezra Taft Benson.  The prophet asked the Latter-day Saints in Bo to abandon their meetinghouses and to gather again in their homes to worship.

The news was very discouraging for the local Latter-day Saint leaders, who felt that the rented buildings were an important milestone for the Church in Sierra Leone.  Members were also disappointed and unhappy about the request. Some wondered why a prophet in Utah cared about where they met. Others questioned whether or not the prophet understood their circumstances.
But a core group of strong members made the decision to obey. They closed their chapel doors and began holding worship services in their homes.

In March 1991 — just months after President Benson asked them to leave their rented meetinghouses — civil war erupted in Sierra Leone.  In the midst of war, churches were frequently targeted by rebels; thousands lost their lives while worshipping God.  But Latter-day Saints in the country were safe from harm, obediently worshipping in their homes ("A miracle came through obedience," Peter Evans, Church News, Jan. 1, 2011).

President Thomas S. Monson said great strength comes through obedience.  "There is no need for you or me in this enlightened age, when the fullness of the gospel has been restored, to sail uncharted seas or travel unmarked roads in search of a 'fountain of truth,' " he said. "For a living Heavenly Father has plotted our course and provided an unfailing map — obedience" ("Strength through Obedience," Ensign, July 1996).

Although we live in a day and age complicated by an onslaught of opportunities and choices, a popular Primary song reminds us that being obedient is, at its core, simple.  Primary children sing of Nephi, who with courage, obeyed the Lord's direction to obtain the brass plates and build a boat. "I will go; I will do the thing the Lord commands. I know the Lord provides a way; he wants me to obey" ("Nephi's Courage," Children's Songbook, pp. 120-121).

The Book of Mormon reminds us that happiness and prosperity are the rewards for obedience. It also teaches us the heartbreaking lesson that those who forget the Lord and His commandments fall to misery.  "They were once a delightsome people, and they had Christ for their shepherd; yea, they were led even by God the Father. But now, behold, they are led about by Satan, even as chaff is driven before the wind, or as a vessel is tossed about upon the waves, without a sail or anchor, or without anything wherewith to steer her; and even as she is so are they. And behold, the Lord hath reserved their blessings, which they might have received in the land, for the Gentiles who shall possess the land" (Mormon 5:17-19).

President Gordon B. Hinckley promised Latter-day Saints that the Lord will bless and help the obedient.  "I give you my witness that the leaders of this Church will never ask us to do anything that we cannot perform with the help of the Lord," he said. "We may feel inadequate. That which we are asked to do may not be to our liking or fit in with our ideas. But if we will try with faith and prayer and resolution, we can accomplish it.

"I give you my testimony that the happiness of the Latter-day Saints, the peace of the Latter-day Saints, the progress of the Latter-day Saints, the prosperity of the Latter-day Saints, and the eternal salvation and exaltation of this people lie in walking in obedience to the counsels of the priesthood of God" ("If Ye Be Willing and Obedient," Ensign, December 1971).

That is the lesson epitomized by the faithful Church members in Bo, Sierra Leone.  Mustafa Touray, the first branch president in the country, spoke of the miracle that came through obedience.  "No member of the Church died in Bo during the war — not one. The LDS Church was the only church that continued operating during the war in Bo — the only one. Every other church closed its doors. It was too dangerous for the people to walk to church and too dangerous to sit and worship.

"None of us (the Latter-day Saints) had any problem during the war. We worshipped through the whole war no matter how grave the situation was. Because we were obedient, our members received this great blessing" ("A miracle came through obedience," Peter Evans, Church News, Jan. 1, 2011).

Speaking of obedience in the Church's General Young Women Meeting on March 24, 2012, President Monson asked Church members to "open your hearts, even your very souls, to the sound of that special voice which testifies of truth. As the prophet Isaiah promised, 'Thine ears shall hear a word ... saying, This is the way, walk ye in it' " (Isaiah 31:20).  Then he added,

"You have the precious gift of agency. I plead with you to choose to obey."

© 2012 Deseret News Publishing Company

"A Teacher Affects All Eternity"

From last week's Music & The Spoken Word Broadcast:

Not long ago, lines at a mortuary grew long as scores of people came to pay respects. In fact, the line of people grew so long that it was moved outside the mortuary and down the street. Who was the person whose life had touched so many? She was not a VIP-at least, not by most standards; she was not rich or famous; she wasn't a celebrity a powerful business, or political leader. She was a teacher, known and loved for touching the lives of countless elementary schoolchildren.

Is it surprising that a teacher in a midsize town would receive such an outpouring of love and support? Not to those children and their parents! Good teachers make such a difference—they can touch hearts and change lives as no one else can.

When legendary coach John Wooden spoke of his final basketball game, he referred to it as “the last game [he] ever taught.” A coach, he explained, is first and foremost a teacher. He felt it was his responsibility not only to improve his players' athletic skills but also to help them become better people. And he did just that. Thousands of players and fans continue to benefit from Coach Wooden's influence-an influence they measure more by the values he taught than by the games he won.¹

What is true of coaches and teachers can be true of all of us. We can all be involved in the work of teaching. Parents and family are the most important teachers. Neighbors and friends can be teachers. Managers, leaders, and colleagues can all be teachers-extending the legacy of good teaching infinitely into the future. Over a century ago, noted historian and journalist Henry Adams observed something that remains true today: “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”²

1. See Michael Josephson, "Parents Are Teachers First," What Will Matter, May 23, 2012.
2. The Education of Henry Adams (1918), 300.